Birdnesting: What Is It and Is It Right for You?

Parents considering divorce often worry about how it will impact their children. One unconventional approach of some divorcing couples to soften the life change for their children is birdnesting.

In a typical South Florida timesharing arrangement, each parent has their own home, and the children spend time living with each parent at the parent’s home. In contrast, with birdnesting, the children continue to live full-time in the family home. The parents alternate between living in the family home and a second location, such as a small, rented apartment or a friend’s or family member’s home. This approach can be less stressful for the children since they can stay in their current home and don’t have to travel between their parents’ homes. However, this approach can place a heavy burden on the parents.

Benefits of Birdnesting

• Provides comfort and familiarity with the children.
• Can simplify logistics for school and extracurricular activities (e.g. don’t have to pack up school supplies, musical instruments, sports uniforms and tote them between both parents’ homes).

Drawbacks of Birdnesting

• High costs: maintaining two (and sometimes three) homes is very expensive. Even if the second home is a studio apartment, it still requires additional rent payment, furnishings, utility bills, maintenance, etc.
• Lack of privacy, especially if both parents are sharing the second home as well.
• Can be emotionally difficult for one or both spouses to share a home, even if they are not living there together.
• May give the children false hope that their parents will reunite.

Typically, if a couple birdnests, it is for a limited period of time, such as a few months, or to finish out the current school year. Birdnesting can be successful if the divorce is amicable and both parents are fully committed to it. Some situations that are not conducive to birdnesting are when:

• There is a high-conflict divorce.
• One of the parents is controlling.
• The parents have major differences in lifestyles.

If you are considering birdnesting, you and your spouse will need to work out the logistics of how it will work, such as deciding who will shop and pay for groceries? Who will clean the house and how often? Who does laundry and pays for laundry supplies? Who is responsible for home maintenance? Troy Legal can guide you, either as an attorney or as a mediator, to develop a comprehensive plan that can maximize the likelihood of successfully birdnesting following your divorce.

Our compassionate attorneys provide expert legal advice on all matters related to divorce and family law in Florida. Call us today to learn how we can help you.